i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize