She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
