I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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