i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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