3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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