Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
