If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
