I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize