she was so not down for the gang bang
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think I sprained my soul last night
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
