the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
