this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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