So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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