What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I have fence marks all over my body
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
