Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Pants are for mortals
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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