Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
