I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
