Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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