So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
