Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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