oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
