went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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