Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
