he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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