I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
