The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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