I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
