Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
