Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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