I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
