I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
