writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
