Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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