Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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