I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
