It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm sobbing to NWA
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
