i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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