Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
