These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
