Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
