yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
