Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
