You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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