i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
