i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
