I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
