i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
