Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
