Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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