You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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