oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize
