I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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