So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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