I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
