her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
