Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
