Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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