champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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