my mouth tastes like poor choices
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
