He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
