I bet he comes in French.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
