On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
