What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
