these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
grandma shit on top of the toilet
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize